body issues

Month 5: Gearing for that Bikini

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For five months, I have sweated out more liquids out my body than I did for the past few years. I have done versions of modified pushups (side to side pushups and shoulder tap pushups) than the regular ones. I ate much healthier food more consistently to calm the ADHD beast that plagued me during my college days. Got to a point where my mom even tried out my brown rice with stew and vegetables (EAT THOSE LEAFY GREENS, FOLKS!) knowing that it’s not something usual in the West African diet of things. I don’t have the need to go out every other weekend like peers my age do. I can even drink a gallon of water a day. Started to become one of those, my lover is the gym/pull-ups people. (Because I’m single and I rather spend more time for me than someone I met at the club) All in all, not only I am seeing muscles in my body I never noticed, but mentally I am more accepting of myself and more confident in my abilities as a photographer/video editor, but as a person.

Who knows, maybe in month 9, I am considering training for the Spartan Race and Tough Mudder just for fun. I am starting to appreciate the things I love again when I was in my prime in high school such as nature, anime (was the punk/geek kid back then, don’t ask). Not to mention, I am considering trying new things in my life I never thought possible. I want to be able to give public speeches without becoming overwhelmed and nervous as I constantly struggle with speech. I want to learn how to dance and do a backflip. I don’t care if its pole-dancing or parkour, at least I can proudly hold my head high and say, me, me? I can do this? Naw.  My next goal and I promise, promise, promise I will show you the pictures soon in this blog is to buy my first bikini. Summer is almost over, but this is something I never considered in doing till now.

I always played things safe and would wear onsies, while I let others to strut their stuff. I don’t know, consciously I thought I need the best abs in the world for a bikini since I always had a huge gut. I never really had mega body issues, but I never liked to show off either. I shouldn’t allow society to define what I should buy for my body type, but I also shouldn’t hide when you do have beautiful parts about you should consider showing off. I plan to buy my first bikini….perhaps in before New York Fashion Week or the next opportunity to hit a body of water with a group of friends…or a date. I don’t know. This is my Concept of F.I.T. Love your body the most.